The Fearsome Saga of the Balkans Condensed (Sort of)

If the mention of places like Serbia and Montenegro strikes fear in your heart and blankness in your mind…
When I took on this topic, my ambitions were limited to the Balkan Wars that blared out from the teevee during my adolescence (and those about which I pretended to have a passing knowledge while signing onto resolutions during Model UN). It appears, however, that a workable understanding of the nineties’ Balkan skirmishes must include at least a brief discussion of the wars and territorial disputes during the late nineteenth century and beginning of the 20th century.

What is classified as ‘Balkan’ and why
There seem to have been 3 possible means through which a country became classified as a ‘Balkan’: location on the Balkan peninsula, proximity to Balkan mountain range (ooh side note—Balkan actually means mountain in Turkish!), or countries that were under the control of the Ottoman Empire. ***Don’t feel bad if this is incredibly confusing to you—the term ‘Balkanization’, meaning a disintegration of centralized order or unwieldy/ungovernable group of entities, was coined by cutesy op-eders (and maybe some statesmen) in order to honor the wacky border/territory/allegiance jumping characterized by the region.
In sum…
Balkan = countries on the Balkan Peninsula (Albania, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Greece, Kosovo, Macedonia, Montenegro) + Other Countries Sorta on the peninsula/along the Balkan Mountain Range/otherwise associated (Croatia, Serbia, Slovenia, Romania and Turkey)

Break Up of the Ottoman Empire→Independence of Balkan Nations→WWI→WWII→….
Ok, so the Ottoman Empire is basically what we think of culturally as Turkey, but, at the height of its power, it spanned three continents. Among the territories comprising its vast domain were the Balkan countries discussed above. It had a grand reign blabla, but lost Egypt, Greece, Moldavia, Walachia and partial control of Serbia in (relatively) quick succession during the Greek War of Independence, the two Russo-Turk Wars and the War with Muhammed Ali over Egypt.

So, what was left after this period of war within the Ottoman Empire?
• The Treaty of Berlin in 1878 recognized the complete independence of Romania, Serbia and Montenegro. Also under the terms of this treaty: established Bulgaria as a somewhat independent state (but still formally under Ottoman control), broken up into 3 protectorates (including Macedonia)-->Slovenia and Croatia + Bosnia/Herzegovina = under control of Austral-Hungarian Empire.
• After the huge territorial losses of the late 19th century, a wave of nationalism spelled the end of the end for the Ottoman Empire (hereafter, ‘The Turks’): the Turks were driven out of Macedonia, Albania, and Kosovo. Wait, but the Balkans’ unification was limited to the common purpose of expelling the Turks: the Serbs turned against Bulgaria and occupied Macedonia and Albania.
• ZOMG: so the whole ‘Franz Ferdinand was shot by the Serbian Princip’ event that triggered WWI was because of all of this mess!!!! The Purpose of FF’s ill-fated mission was to quell the unrest in B&H on behalf of the Austral-Hungarian Empire!

Death to the Austral-Hungarian Empire
The Treaty of Versailles rewrote boundaries in the Balkan universe, establishing the ‘Kingdom of the Serbia, Croats and Slovenes.' Turned out that the idea of drawing territorial lines encompassing these three ethnicities under authoritarian Serbs was about as good an idea as naming the new country the ‘Kingdom of the Serba, Croats and Slovenes’—and neither the territorial demarcations nor the name were long for this world. The state’s name was changed to Yugoslavia and its ruler, Alexander, was murdered in an act of defiance on behalf of the oppressed Croats in 1934.